Hello world

I've written some short stories, and am currently playing around with "Quest" (a text adventure program).
In the meantime I'd like to share my short stories, here's the first one.

A city under siege

            The blinding flash lit the night sky brighter than day, gasping, Elise tried to calm herself and lay back down. She felt she was living in Hell, and that this damned war would never end. The war had started almost a week ago, and she'd had very little sleep since. It was difficult to sleep with the thundering of cannons and bursts of machine-gun fire, nor did the grenade explosions help. But those thrice damned bombs, made it near impossible.

            She looked across at Rook, who was keeping watch in the corner behind the shattered doorway. His real name is Denny O'Rouke, but everyone calls him Rook because no-one ever beat him at arm-wrestling. He was originally from Ireland, but grew up in London's west-end. There he had to learn quickly how to defend himself, from bullies and gangs. Rook had lost half his squad-mates within the first two days of battle, then he found her. Elise was huddled under a broken table, just a few ruins down the road from what had been her grandparents house.

            She closed her eyes and shuddered, trying to stop the remembrance of seeing her grandparents killed. But the memory unheedingly, hauntingly played-over through her mind anyway. Again she saw the grenade explosion ripping apart the door in the kitchen, that had led to their small backyard. Again she saw the hail of bullets ripping through her grandparents bodies, from the cloud of dust and smoke that had moments ago been the door. Then not knowing what else to do, she had quickly climbed up the chimney. After a few breathless moments she heard people storm in, and then the chaos of noise while they roughly searched the house. Hardly even daring to breathe, she stayed in the chimney until she could no-longer see daylight above.

            Rook managed to get them back to a controlled town, where they found out that Elise's parents were dead. Her father had died on the battle-front, and a couple of days later the munitions factory her mother worked in, was bombed. A couple of days later Rook asked Elise if she would like him to adopt her, and spent the rest of his life protecting her.

            Although she re-lived the horrors of that war, every single night as she tried to sleep. Today for the first and last time, she told her story. For today they were saying goodbye to Rook, for he had passed quietly in his sleep. A grown woman now, with children of her own. Elise would never forget the war that interrupted her childhood, and gave her scars that would never fade.

 Feedback is welcome